In thinking over the past six weeks or so, along with change comes several other emotions and feelings. I've personally experienced uncertainty, joy, challenge, calm, nervousness and a host more that I just don't want to drone on about.
One that has hit home today is disappointment. And not my own (well, that's not entirely true) - but disappointment associated with one of my kids and what they are personally going through.
We set our sights on a goal. We work hard toward making that a reality and then BOOM, there it goes. It was in sight, it seemed like the right thing and yet, it eludes us.
Now what?
Upon learning of a big disappointment in said child's life, first my heart hurt. I cried a little. I shot off a long text of encouragement. No answer. Didn't expect one, the child is working through their own emotions. Then I got mad. That's usually my journey through disappointment - sad then mad. And as I sat there mad and thinking "well we will show them" "all the hoops we jumped to get there and they do this?" "I'm going to launch a full scale protest of some sort" and all sorts of interesting expletives and dumb ideas, I get a text from said child that says "I know I'll have opportunities to apply myself and use what I've learned to make a name for myself."
Boom.
My mad went out the door and I cried again. And while I know the child still has some soul searching to do and maybe even some more processing and grieving of the loss, the way they are dealing with the disappointment is admirable.
I know that the process of dealing with disappointment is a journey. Each emotion must be acknowledged, felt and then dealt with. I know that at the end of the journey must come the peace and knowing that as one door closes, another opens.
Watching my child journey through this time of disappointment is encouraging. It still hurts my momma heart but I know life is full of hills of joy and valleys of disappointment. And I cling to the One who is in charge of all that.
Today, I am blessed to see the child really dealing with disappointment. Walking the journey. Taking each thing as it comes.
I'll be watching for the door that will open for the child. I imagine a day will come when we look back, as we have so many other times, and see what a blessing the disappointment actually was.